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The Saga of Management review of writing style

(Author unknown)


Question: How many feet do mice have?

Original text: Mice have four feet.

Management comment: Elaborate!

Revision 1: Mice have five appendages, and four of them are feet.

Management comment: No discussion of fifth appendage!

Revision 2: Mice have five appendages; four of them are feet and one is a tail.

Management comment: What? Feet with no legs?

Revision 3: Mice have four legs, four feet, and one tail per unit-mouse.

Management comment: Confusing. Is that a total of nine appendages?

Revision 4: Mice have four leg-foot assemblies and one tail assembly per body.

Management comment: Does not fully discuss the issue!

Revision 5: Each mouse comes equipped with four legs and a tail. Each leg is equipped with a foot and the end opposite the body; the tail is not equipped with a foot.

Management comment: Descriptive? Yes. Forceful? No.

Revision 6: Allotment appendages for mice will be: Four leg-foot assemblies, one tail. Deviation from this policy is not permitted as it would constitute misapportionment of scarce appendage assets.

Management comment: too authoritative! Stifles creativity!

Revision 7: Mice have four feet; Each foot is attached to a small leg joined internally with the overall mouse structural subsystem. Also attached to the mouse subsystem is thin tail, nonfunctional and ornamental in nature.

Management comment: Too verbose! Too scientific! Answer the question.

Final Revision approved by management: Mice have four feet.

 


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